Cunnilingus

For many years cunnilingus was considered to be a perverted act. Good, upright people weren't supposed to do that sort of thing.

And then the research of Kinsey and Masters and Johnson revealed that an awful lot of people had indulged in oral sex, including cunnilingus, with no ill effects. The 1948 Kinsey research revealed that, while only 10% of men had performed cunnilingus before marriage, almost 49% had done so once they tied the not.

In 1976, Shere Hite revealed that women absolutely loved receiving cunnilingus, even though they often felt nervous about their own taste and smell. While 42% of women in that survey were able to achieve orgasm via cunnilingus, the author felt that number could have been greater if it were employed as more than just a brief form and foreplay, and if women hadn't felt so hesitant or guilty about enjoying it.

"I wish I could be told sometimes in the middle of the day or in bed at night: 'Lie down, relax, enjoy; I'm going to give you head for an hour.' Ahhh..." - Hite Report survey response

40 years on, cunnilingus still seems to suffer second class citizenship in the pantheon of sexual activities. Despite the fact that it's an ideal method for producing female orgasm, pussy licking is still often relegated to the realm of "foreplay" - that is, merely something a man does to get his partner wet and ready for intercourse.

Certainly this is the case in the vast majority of porn movies. Cunnilingus is only ever included as a preliminary activity to penetration - even in lesbian or girl-girl movies.

In popular culture, pussy licking remains relatively invisible, even when the blowjob has become almost mundane, thanks to impeachment trials and TV shows. A mindset persists that cunnilingus is somehow dirty, distasteful and too submissive for men to perform.

Nonetheless, recent sex surveys reveal that cunnilingus is popular in the bedroom, and that many men enjoy going down on their women. It's often seen as part of a reciprocal oral sex "deal".

Ian Kerner's book She Comes First is about giving cunnilingus primacy in the bedroom. He argues that people need to stop seeing intercourse as the main goal of sex and start being intimate in ways that best please a woman - including oral sex.

"When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man's native tongue," he writes.

As more and more women become comfortable with their sexuality, cunnilingus may soon be seen as an essential part of having sex.

Interesting articles

Paying Lip Service - The Observer